Of Love and Hatred
by hellsprung wolf
Summary: A year after Kabuto, the spy, leaves Konoha, fourteen year old Tanaka Kaeda finds herself at the same place where they first met. The former Akatsuki member tries to understand her feelings for the man she thought was her best friend. KabutoXOC oneshot


Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for Kaeda, my OC.

[A/N: This is a Kabuto one-shot. There are too FEW Kabuto fanfics out there in the world. I don't get it. I, personally, am a total sucker for him (though he's not as cool as Gaara, Itachi, or Kakashi). I love this guy, he's such a badass geek! Lol… ok, onto the story. First FFN Naruto fic, reviews are appreciated :3

Of Love and Hatred 

Tanaka Kaeda placed her hand on a tree, _her_ tree. Three years it had been, when she was eleven, since her escape from the Akatsuki. The escape had cost her older brother's life, but she had managed to get, with help, to Konoha.

Three years it had been since she had passed out under that tree, and woken to see a friendly smile before her.

Three years it had been since she had met her first and best 'friend', under that tree.

The wind blew Kaeda's black hair around her face, and she pushed it back, annoyance written on her pale, beautiful features.

One year it had been since that day, that day when her 'friend' had vainly pronounced himself as a spy and left.

Kaeda's fingers traced the rough bark of the tree. Why was she back again, at that tree? Why had she been returning to the same place every night, the past year?

_This world… perhaps it is all of our fates to live in lies and false feelings_, Kaeda sighed. The leaves of the trees rustled and her head shot up immediately.

A strange ephemeral light in the darkness had broken through her thoughts and Kaeda narrowed her eyes to get a better look. At that moment, she was aware a presence besides her. Kaeda swung around, a single kunai in hand.

"Come out! I know you're there," Kaeda said, sounding more confidant than she felt. To her surprise, someone stepped out and Kaeda's hand flew to her open mouth in surprise. It was a boy, nineteen or twenty, the moonlight glinting off of his glasses, his long, silver hair pulled back in a ponytail. He wore a Sound headband… and a small smirk on his face.

"Kaeda-chan," he spoke, softly, standing only two feet or so away.

"Kabuto-ku-san." Kaeda bit her tongue to prevent herself from using the informal suffix. They were no longer friends, not since Kabuto had betrayed the Village, not since Kaeda had found out he was a spy for Sound for all those years. Not since she realized everything she had ever known him to be, everything she had ever liked about him, was a lie.

"'San', now is it?" Kabuto raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here? This is not your place!" Kaeda hissed. "Leave! Go back to where you belong, you spy!" Seeing his familiar face had brought back the old emotions of pain and anger. Her heart clenched, burning with hate and bitterness. Her hand clenched, onto her kunai, putting on so much force her knuckles turned white.

"I am a spy, so?" Kabuto's arrogant smirk was still fixed in place. "I fooled all of Konoha for many years. There is no shame in that."

"You did fool us, that was for sure, and I hate you for it." Kaeda glared at him. "I'm wasting my breath. Leave."

"You know what?" Kabuto did not wait for an answer. "I don't think you hate me."

"You don't, now? And why would that be?" Kaeda asked rhetorically, wanting to wipe that smirk off his face. To think she had once cherished every fleeting expression to ever cross his face, that _he_ was the one to bring her back to life at the start.

"I don't think so," Kabuto repeated. "Because if you did, you would have alerted all of Konoha's ninjas the moment you saw me." Kaeda cursed inwardly; in her surprise, she forgot that Kabuto was now a threat, one of the largest of threats, to Konoha.

"I'm going." Kaeda turned to leave and had only made a few steps before the spy called out again.

"Wait!" His originally laid back voice was sharp, almost urgent.

"What?" Kaeda demanded irritably.

"I want to hear you say it," Kabuto said. "Do you really hate me?"

"Oh, that's what you want?" Kaeda swung around, eyes blazing. "Yes, I hate you! With all my heart, I hated you, ever since that day you left. You pretended to be my friend, and I believed you. I had thought you my very best friend, the one who helped to heal after my experience with the Akatsuki. I thought you understood, cared. You're right, I was a fool. I hate you, Kabuto-san."

"You don't mean that." The smirk had fallen from Kabuto's expression into a frown. Kaeda ignored his words, true to the core. She couldn't hate him, no matter how hard she had tried. Her heart tore at the thought of his name, and she pleaded for him to return in her dreams. His smile, his eyes, his foolish nature, his friendship, none of which could have been forgotten.

"Damn you, I mean it!" Kaeda spat cruelly. "Now leave Konoha, before I _do_ go inform the Hokage. Don't ever return. I don't even know what you are doing here in the first place. Nor do I care." Kaeda turned once more, but this time, had hardly stepped forward when she felt a hand holding tightly onto her wrist. The kunai she held dropped to the ground in a deafening clatter and Kaeda glanced up, prepared to attack him with her bare fists. She was so taken aback, though, by the hurt expression in Kabuto's eyes, she stood motionless.

"I came…" Kabuto took a deep breath, his eyes meeting her own, searching. "I came to find you. I didn't want you to have remembered our farewell as the last time we spoke. I wanted to end on good terms. I wanted- I wanted… to tell you that you were wrong. Everything wasn't a lie, not with you. I-I-" Kabuto's breathing became frantic, his head lowered, staring at the earth beneath his feet. "Damn it all! Kaeda, I love you. I cared about you, more than I should have, more than was good for me, more than was good for _you_. Never had I felt so strongly about anyone else. When Orochimaru-sama wanted to recruit you, I spoke against it, made up stories, risked my life to keep you from his grasp." His voice was strangled and his teeth gritting together in frustration. "Because I didn't want you unhappy, I didn't want you hurt. Because-because I loved you so much." Tears fell from his face, droplets sinking into the ground.

Kaeda felt her own eyes brim and she quickly wiped them with her free hand. Kabuto looked up at her, his expression full of doubt and humiliation, awaiting the expected rejection.

"I… hate you," Kaeda said, her throat dry and voice choked. She loved him, loved him so much there was a pain in her chest, but her mouth still would not voice what her heart and mind together knew. She loved the traitor, the spy. He could have killed the entire Leaf Village, her included, and she would still love him with her dying breath.

"Kaeda," Kabuto suddenly pulled her into him, arms around her tightly as if he would never let go. One hand in her hair, the other around her waist, trying, in that simple touch, to convey all the regret and guilt and love he felt, trying to apologize for what he had done. "Kaeda, please, just let me hold you for this one time."

Kaeda's spiteful barrier of ice melted around her, and she loosened. Her hand grasped blindly at Kabuto's back, her face buried deep into his chest, tears now pouring freely from her eyes. Her shoulders shook with each sob, uncontrolled and confusing emotions fighting inside her. Kaeda searched, and found the words. "Kabuto." Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper. "I lied to you. Damn it, I lied. I love you. I've always loved you. Don't leave me again, Kabuto-kun. Never again. Let us just be like this forever."

"Thank you," Kabuto held her even closer, his grip tightening. His own heart shattered at the thought of leaving her, yet to protect her, he would gladly shatter his heart and again those pieces, just for her. And still, he would be able to care so much about her with those tiny, broken shards. Kabuto took a small step back and with his hands raised Kaeda's tear stained face up to his own.

Kaeda's eyes scanned his expression, alarmed at the combined softness and pain he showed. Slowly, Kabuto lowered his head and Kaeda felt his lips brush softly against hers.

"I'm sorry," Kabuto said, and the next moment, only empty air replaced him. He was gone. For the second time.

Only the lingering feel on Kaeda's lips and the warmth where his hands had laid on her cheek to remind her. Instead of feeling an empty void, though, Kaeda felt as if something had been put back in place inside her. As she began to leave, she could hear a voice, carried by the winds of that night.

'_I love you_'. Three simple words spoken as they were made to, each one with feeling and hope and promise.


End file.
